I had a GREAT night tonight - I almost called and canceled my Japanese lesson at Ihara-nihongo-no-kai, but decided to go instead. It turned out that this week was actually a yasumi (break) but my conversation partner Furuyasan had told me that there was. So he was there, and 2 of his friends from his old job (Furuya-san is a retired police officer) and those 2 women's high-school aged daughters. One of the girls will be attending Ihara next year. I had seen Gotenyama all lit up for hanami (cherry blossom viewing) and so suggested that we all walk over there. We ended up sitting in the jiyuseki section, having konbini snacks and chatting. Then me and the girls hiked up to the tsuribashi (suspension bridge). It was really fun just talking and joking and learning some Japanese. After, we came back to the sukoyaka center, Furuya's friends left, and he invited me over for some coffee with him and his wife. We sat under their kotatsu (warm-table - we don't have these in the states) and watched a crazy Japanese show called "taimu shoku" (time shock) where celebrities are strapped into a contraption and asked questions, and if they don't get enough right they get spun around in a 3-d "torunado." Some 56-year-old Japanese dude dressed as a woman won the game. (His name was Peter.)
I'm really starting to feel the weight of the fact that I'm leaving Japan in 4 months. There are a lot of things I wish I could stay and do, and I'm going to miss a lot when I move away.
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Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Passion
It just hit me. It just clicked. It just all came together, moments ago. I have thought, for years, that I am passionless. I have told myself that I'm 80% good at everything, but not 100% good at anything. I've never found an activity that I could see myself doing every day. I have agonized over this thought for a long time, wishing there was a career, a cause, a sport, or something that I could give myself to in order to find meaning in my daily life. And now it's hit me: My passion is for Jesus Christ. I'm not talking about a career, I'm not joining the ministry, I haven't decided to enroll in seminary. I'm talking about passion - a daily living, a daily purpose, a unifying cause which rules over everything, and under which my daily life plays out.
Recently I've been learning how anything I do can be and should be done to the glory of God, and how offering my body as a living sacrifice is how I am to spiritually worship my Creator. I've been learning and hearing new things through sermons and messages from Mars Hill Church in Seattle. I've been reading good books and memorizing scripture. I've been wondering about my career, what kind of a job I should get after the JET Program, and how my calling to be a diplomat is supposed to play out practically and be satisfying. I was worried that I couldn't do it, and I was worried that I wouldn't find joy in it, if and when I got there. But tonight I was reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper, and it taken me many days and about 50 pages into the book before that book's specific message suddenly finished the picture, finally tied the last knot on the shoelace that pulled together my vehicle for purposeful motion for the rest of my life.
I've been running with shoes untied for so long, slipping and stumbling, turning my ankle and losing my purpose as it falls off behind me and I go tumbling down some God-forsaken path. The sentence in Piper's book read: "Don't coast through life without a passion." and I had been been doing this, looking for something to focus on, never being satisfied with anything, and feeling all the worse and inadequate for it.
But I see it now! The real and true something. The thing that's not a what, but a look to the whom. It's all for the praise and glory of Jesus, and in this I get the joy and the fullness of life! There are no compartments to my life, and I will not define each aspect of my life on its own merits and its own purpose. I now have the purpose, and therefore anything I do will have purpose because it's done unto Jesus. I am no longer passionless because again, the definition of passion is not found in what I do, but to whom I do it.
This is all very new to me, and I have a lot of thinking to do, and a lot of thoughts that must be mastered by this truth that I have discovered. I simply had to come on and share this tonight because it is going to absolutely revolutionise the way I see my purpose in my career, my job, my family, my hobbies and my daily life.
.
Recently I've been learning how anything I do can be and should be done to the glory of God, and how offering my body as a living sacrifice is how I am to spiritually worship my Creator. I've been learning and hearing new things through sermons and messages from Mars Hill Church in Seattle. I've been reading good books and memorizing scripture. I've been wondering about my career, what kind of a job I should get after the JET Program, and how my calling to be a diplomat is supposed to play out practically and be satisfying. I was worried that I couldn't do it, and I was worried that I wouldn't find joy in it, if and when I got there. But tonight I was reading Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper, and it taken me many days and about 50 pages into the book before that book's specific message suddenly finished the picture, finally tied the last knot on the shoelace that pulled together my vehicle for purposeful motion for the rest of my life.
I've been running with shoes untied for so long, slipping and stumbling, turning my ankle and losing my purpose as it falls off behind me and I go tumbling down some God-forsaken path. The sentence in Piper's book read: "Don't coast through life without a passion." and I had been been doing this, looking for something to focus on, never being satisfied with anything, and feeling all the worse and inadequate for it.
But I see it now! The real and true something. The thing that's not a what, but a look to the whom. It's all for the praise and glory of Jesus, and in this I get the joy and the fullness of life! There are no compartments to my life, and I will not define each aspect of my life on its own merits and its own purpose. I now have the purpose, and therefore anything I do will have purpose because it's done unto Jesus. I am no longer passionless because again, the definition of passion is not found in what I do, but to whom I do it.
This is all very new to me, and I have a lot of thinking to do, and a lot of thoughts that must be mastered by this truth that I have discovered. I simply had to come on and share this tonight because it is going to absolutely revolutionise the way I see my purpose in my career, my job, my family, my hobbies and my daily life.
.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thoughts on G.K. Chesterton's "Orthodoxy"
I finished reading Orthodoxy by G. K. Chesterton today. It's chock-full of careful ruminations that are carefully written. There are at least 30 places in the 150 page book where I stopped and had to write things down in the margin because his comments were so thought provoking. It's hard to believe this book was published 100 years ago because it is as if he is rebutting the agnostic, atheist, and "spiritualist" thinkers of today. But, as C.S. Lewis stated in Surprised by Joy and Chesterton stated himself in this publication, the truth is truthful no matter what age it was discovered in. We cannot simply assert that our ideas today are better simply because they're newer. (This fallacy is called Appeal to Novelty.) **edit** C.S. Lewis calls it "chronological snobbery" - the thought that, because it's the most current year or age, we therefore are smarter, more advanced, more logical and have it more figured out than people did in ages past.
Anyway, there's nothing that will prove that the Bible holds the truth to life, the universe and everything, but there are a lot of things that you can try and test, and if there is such a thing as Truth (with a capital "T") then it will stand up to all trials.
There are a couple of things that I would like to share here that I found relevant to me. (Hey - it's my blog!)
1. Chesterton writes in the chapter "Authority and the Adventurer": "All the real argument about religion turns on the question of whether a man who was born upside down can tell when he comes right way up. The primary paradox of Christianity is that the ordinary condition of man is not his sane or sensible condition..." Which is to say here, Christians believe we were created perfect by God. Then we rebelled (Original Sin), which brought upon us death and all kinds of bad things. Man is living today in a state we were not meant to be in; we have a perfect creator and we also have evil in our world.
As a Christian it is so difficult to argue with people about religion, and in particular Christianity, because we're starting with different assumptions. It doesn't even make any sense to argue: you can't convince somebody of the logical steps of your argument when that person isn't standing on the same staircase. So I will not argue. I have made up my mind to never argue.
I will love. I will explain. I will answer sincere questions about Jesus and the Bible and Christianity sincerely from those who are wanting to wait a moment to listen to an answer. But I will not argue. I'm 25 years old and I can't believe it took me this long to realize this necessity.
2. Earlier in the same chapter Chesterton writes: "But my own positive conviction that personal creation is more conceivable than material fate, is, I admit, in a sense, undiscussable. I will not call it a faith or an intuition, for those words are mixed up with mere emotion, it is strictly an intellectual conviction; but it is a primary intellectual conviction like the certainty of self or the good of living."
It is true that the Bible states faith is necessary for salvation. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith..." (Ephesians 2:8). Jesus says to a woman in Luke "Your faith has saved you; go in peace." (Luke 7:50). I don't think Chesterton here is denouncing the necessity of Faith. I think he's resisting the current day's definition of the word "faith." Maybe Chesterton's statement above helps us better understand Hebrews 11:1 - "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
I, too, have been blessed with a rock-solid faith insomuch as I am convinced that the Bible is true, that man is sinful and damnable, and that grace through Jesus is our only hope. I've known this as long as I've been able to know. However, I have not always reacted to this knowledge with obedience, to my salvation with good works, and that is my great sin. To be blessed with such conviction, yet to flail about in a cesspool of profligateness.... I shudder to think what will happen if I'm still living that way in equal measure on the day I fall into the hands of the Living God. This is a completely different discussion, but one I am quite happy to talk about because I have seen Jesus changing me in revolutionary ways since this past November 1st.
.
Anyway, there's nothing that will prove that the Bible holds the truth to life, the universe and everything, but there are a lot of things that you can try and test, and if there is such a thing as Truth (with a capital "T") then it will stand up to all trials.
There are a couple of things that I would like to share here that I found relevant to me. (Hey - it's my blog!)
1. Chesterton writes in the chapter "Authority and the Adventurer": "All the real argument about religion turns on the question of whether a man who was born upside down can tell when he comes right way up. The primary paradox of Christianity is that the ordinary condition of man is not his sane or sensible condition..." Which is to say here, Christians believe we were created perfect by God. Then we rebelled (Original Sin), which brought upon us death and all kinds of bad things. Man is living today in a state we were not meant to be in; we have a perfect creator and we also have evil in our world.
As a Christian it is so difficult to argue with people about religion, and in particular Christianity, because we're starting with different assumptions. It doesn't even make any sense to argue: you can't convince somebody of the logical steps of your argument when that person isn't standing on the same staircase. So I will not argue. I have made up my mind to never argue.
I will love. I will explain. I will answer sincere questions about Jesus and the Bible and Christianity sincerely from those who are wanting to wait a moment to listen to an answer. But I will not argue. I'm 25 years old and I can't believe it took me this long to realize this necessity.
2. Earlier in the same chapter Chesterton writes: "But my own positive conviction that personal creation is more conceivable than material fate, is, I admit, in a sense, undiscussable. I will not call it a faith or an intuition, for those words are mixed up with mere emotion, it is strictly an intellectual conviction; but it is a primary intellectual conviction like the certainty of self or the good of living."
It is true that the Bible states faith is necessary for salvation. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith..." (Ephesians 2:8). Jesus says to a woman in Luke "Your faith has saved you; go in peace." (Luke 7:50). I don't think Chesterton here is denouncing the necessity of Faith. I think he's resisting the current day's definition of the word "faith." Maybe Chesterton's statement above helps us better understand Hebrews 11:1 - "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see."
I, too, have been blessed with a rock-solid faith insomuch as I am convinced that the Bible is true, that man is sinful and damnable, and that grace through Jesus is our only hope. I've known this as long as I've been able to know. However, I have not always reacted to this knowledge with obedience, to my salvation with good works, and that is my great sin. To be blessed with such conviction, yet to flail about in a cesspool of profligateness.... I shudder to think what will happen if I'm still living that way in equal measure on the day I fall into the hands of the Living God. This is a completely different discussion, but one I am quite happy to talk about because I have seen Jesus changing me in revolutionary ways since this past November 1st.
.
I am not alone
This morning, chocolate tasted like chocolate again. I stood in that moment and sighed, before opening my door to the world.
.
.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
I've forgotten what warm weather feels like.
It doesn't get as cold here as Minnesota, but my school and my apartment don't have insulated walls, and my school isn't heated. The offices have air-conditioner like heaters, but none of the classrooms has any sort of heat. It hangs around in the 40s while we teach in the wintertime, and sometimes drops down low enough to see your breath inside the classroom. It's quite terrible. You may say, "Well, 100 years ago most school houses in Minnesota didn't have electricity. They toughed it out." No, they had stoves. Kids lit a fire in the classroom each morning so that they could concentrate on their studies. We have the irony of a "modern" building that isn't heated, and being "modern" won't allow for fires being lit in the center of the room. I really don't know how students are expected to perform to their full potential when the only word I hear from them during an entire lesson is "Samui!" - "Cold!" Kids huddle together before class starts and fight over the seat in the sun.
My apartment also has an air-conditioner heater thingy, but it's only in 1 of my 5 rooms, and about 3 minutes after I turn it off it's cold again because my walls are so thin and I have 3 huge sliding glass doors. The only 2 places I'm ever warm is in the shower and in my bed. And people wonder why they lose motivation during the wintertime.
I'm not super-upset about this, and you might think it's complaining, but for the most part I've grown used to it. (There are so many things you have to just shrug your shoulders at when living in a different country and culture, hoo, believe me...or in the case of cold "hunch" your shoulders...) The winter can't last forever, but it's lasted long enough now to the point where I can picture myself wearing a T-shirt, but I can't picture myself being comfortable while wearing one. I really miss being comfortable and relaxed and warm...
.
It doesn't get as cold here as Minnesota, but my school and my apartment don't have insulated walls, and my school isn't heated. The offices have air-conditioner like heaters, but none of the classrooms has any sort of heat. It hangs around in the 40s while we teach in the wintertime, and sometimes drops down low enough to see your breath inside the classroom. It's quite terrible. You may say, "Well, 100 years ago most school houses in Minnesota didn't have electricity. They toughed it out." No, they had stoves. Kids lit a fire in the classroom each morning so that they could concentrate on their studies. We have the irony of a "modern" building that isn't heated, and being "modern" won't allow for fires being lit in the center of the room. I really don't know how students are expected to perform to their full potential when the only word I hear from them during an entire lesson is "Samui!" - "Cold!" Kids huddle together before class starts and fight over the seat in the sun.
My apartment also has an air-conditioner heater thingy, but it's only in 1 of my 5 rooms, and about 3 minutes after I turn it off it's cold again because my walls are so thin and I have 3 huge sliding glass doors. The only 2 places I'm ever warm is in the shower and in my bed. And people wonder why they lose motivation during the wintertime.
I'm not super-upset about this, and you might think it's complaining, but for the most part I've grown used to it. (There are so many things you have to just shrug your shoulders at when living in a different country and culture, hoo, believe me...or in the case of cold "hunch" your shoulders...) The winter can't last forever, but it's lasted long enough now to the point where I can picture myself wearing a T-shirt, but I can't picture myself being comfortable while wearing one. I really miss being comfortable and relaxed and warm...
.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
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