My testimony

I first wrote this down in note form and presented it at a Navigators meeting the beginning of April this year, 2007. So the time references are based on the time of presentation, 8 months ago. I finally now got this written down in paragraph form, and am generally happy with the accuracy of everything, thought I think it made a better speech. Anywho, it's down now on the internet, so no fire or bout of amnesia will erase this true and accurate testimony.



I testify that God is real, that God is truth, and that this universe operates under his design and his direction.

As I was asked to give my testimony, I really tried to think about what a testimony is. So naturally I went to a big, fat dictionary propped open on a library podium. Here I found 2 things: 1. A testimony is a firsthand authentication of a fact, and 2. A testimony is something that severs as an outward sign.

Let’s notice something about that first definition: My testimony is an authentication of an already existing fact. God is real. He is the fact; He exists. Completely and wholly outside of me saying that he does. My utterance does not create his existence. If there was no one on this earth to think about God, he would still exist. “In the beginning, God…” My purpose through this testimony is to provide first hand authentication of the already existing fact.

I testify that God is real, that God is truth, and that this universe operates under his design and his direction.

His Design: Romans 1:20 states, “For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities – his eternal power and divine nature – have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse.” His Direction: Hebrews 4:12 states, “The word is living and active, sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thought and attitudes of the heart.”

I have felt that double-edged sword pierce into my soul and my marrow so much over these past 9 months, and it is for 2 reasons: One, God calling me and drawing me in, and Two, My decision to seek after him with reckless abandon.

There are several passages that speak to this. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” James 4:7-8 “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.” And lastly here, Philippians 2:12-13: “Continue to work out your salvation (that is, work out your obedience) with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.” In this third passage we see both dynamics of God calling me, drawing me, working in me as I strive to work out my salvation.

Ok, so here’s the story of the past 9 months:

Last year I lived with non-Christians. I was living off campus for the first time, and it really wore on me. I am a person who can be easily influenced by my surroundings, so I saw my obedience slip and wane. Drinking increased. Swearing increased. God as my joy and delight faded down my list of priorities. So second semester came around and I met this girl. This wonderful, funny, talented, beautiful girl, who, for those simple reasons quickly became the joy and delight of my life.

Now I’m not saying that it is wrong to delight in your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife. Ephesians 5 as well as many other places in the Bible tells us quite the opposite (read Song of Songs for example!). The problem with me was that I was making this relationship my all. I could honestly say to myself and to others, “God. Yeah, he’s number 7.” Or “God, he’s number 8.” I had this surface elation but inside I was dying, decaying really. And I knew this; I knew this.

So finals week last spring we broke up because we knew we weren’t seeking God. And I truly was broken. I had lost what I thought was giving my life purpose and joy. So I decided to turn to God. At first it all felt cheapened, because when I had what I wanted I wasn’t seeking God, but now that I needed something from him again, I was turning to him. But I decided I’d go to him anyway, because I really did need him. Every day I spent talking with him. I started praying through the Psalms, one a day from mid-July. I had many conversations with my sister on the phone and with my new Christian roommates. Through this and during this I heard God say to me in no uncertain terms, “Luther, you fool. You think you initiated our relationship? I put my hand in your life…to stop you, to redirect you, to move you.” God afflicted me, affected me, rushed to me, showed me he was there, and called softly in my ear. Acts 17:26-27 is now taped to my desk. “From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is hot far from each one of us.” God placed me, God called me, and he waits for me to run to his voice.

That brings me to that second definition of testimony; something that serves as an outward sign.

Does my life give testament to God’s existence and God’s truth? Is my life an outward sign or proof that God is real? I desire this to be so every day of my life. I know I’m not perfect, but I am striving to be like Jesus. And here’s the real important part: I have discovered that, the more I draw near to God, the more I seek him out, the more He becomes such a natural outpouring in my life. I can’t not talk about Him. I can’t not give him the credit.

I’ll end with this:

I had the opportunity to talk with Jared Wass recently. During this conversation the verse Psalm 37:4 came up: “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I used to think that this meant, “Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you a wife, a new car, a good job, etc.” But Jared showed me, if I delight in the Lord, what is the desire of my heart? It’s the Lord!!! God is promising that if I seek Him, he will give me himself. What better joy is there than that?

God has become so real and active in my life because God is a real and active God and I have been seeking him with my all.